Improbable boyfriend is still around after three months, and, at a loose estimate, just as many dump attempts. By “around” I mean my local brain cache, because we are now on different islands. He came to visit for a week, leaving London with a moderate viral infection, bruised collarbone and scraped shins from the 7am Olympic weightlifting class and belly full of Tom Kha Gai.

The main advantage of having somebody like this around, the kind of person who overcomplicates life by questioning why not to rinse after toothpaste or whether to install the latest software update or how come one ought to own a sofa, the main advantage is that you leave auto-pilot mode more than you would otherwise, or more than you have in years, which feels alive and restful at the same time. For sure it can be exhausting if every decision is a discrete problem to solve, but at least it’s not boring.

I put the relationship in the Madeira box, because life on subtropical paradise island Madeira is very different from busy life in the city, in the grey winter days. I permitted the visit, knowing it would be somewhat of a test. The red rose he brought survived the 8 hour journey. Dump rate appears to be consistent on both islands.

At the risk of not passing the Bechdel test in my own monologue, it (he) inspired me to do more recreational button pressing and I think that’s a good thing, even if I may look at this in half a year and laugh.